you vandal

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 05:07:12 GMT

why am i being so awful to you?

I don't mean any of it, I just worry about us...

bye bye h8redsoul

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:42:12 GMT

I made this journal on my 16th birthday...
I am now 21 years old...
I have changed so much since I was 16, I figured it was time for a new lj name...

so goodbye h8redsoul (lol @ how long I kept this)
and say hello to

likecursingkids
likecursingkids
likecursingkids

add me!

hey hey hey, what is going on here?!

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 06:30:16 GMT

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 13:59:10 GMT

I am the luckiest boy in the world

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 05:44:06 GMT

I am desperately trying to make connections around this city to form a band. I know people who are already in bands.. which doesn't help directly but I am hoping for some people who know some people kind of action.

I'm over the OMJ(ATA) thing.. I get super bummed when I see pictures of them or think about the shows I am missing and how much fun I could be having... but what can I do?

I spent almost 3 hours driving around the city tuesday with my sister trying to get her car from the impound lot. It was quite a shitty situation, but I had fun cause it was with stephanie and we usually have a good time when we are getting along.

I emptied the remaining boxes around my room today. I guess that means I am here for good now... no going back. I really like it here, the place, the crew, the things to do around the city... but it's not home and there is no Kerry here, so it may never be a completely happy time here.

I start classes tomorrow.

everything in this post is bullshit
i'll never get over what was done
no one has to care
I wouldn't expect you to
i'm done with music
I am sick of getting my hopes up only to get destroyed...

in the future if anyone in here wants to have anything to do with me
if you can't be sure that you will still want to be around me forver, don't even bother

if you want to live your life for yourself, don't tell me about it.. just fucking do it
if you want to change the world, don't tell me... just fucking do it
if you want to break my heart into a million pieces, please spare me the hurt and just ignore me all together

this thread is going downhill fast

I have never been exceptional at anything in my entire life
some people can draw, play music, sing, write, play sports... I can do nothing
please don't encourage me and tell me I have talent because I don't
it has come to my attention that I am only skilled in making it seem like a have talent long enough for people to catch on

I used to always say, well atleast I know I am a good person... but i'm not
I am a selfish, hateful, angry, screwed adult still pretending to be 16

I would tell myself that I should grow up.. but what have I to grow up to?
no skills, no ambitions, no goals?

don't read this and think... shit bryan is depressed blah blah
I probably am, it's not a big deal

all I have in this world that always seems to be positive is kerry anne... and I will be lucky to see her once in the next two months... cool how that works out

something has to happen soon

richmond is the city that pays me

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 05:37:37 GMT

I am in the city and I have been keeping pretty busy since I got here. Hopefully my job will start up soon so I can get some cash flow, and then I can keep really busy. I just don't want this year to be like last year, where I stayed in my dorm room all the time and never did anything. I want to get out and meet people (people who want to make a band with me)...

But what I want more than anything is to be with my girlfriend. I miss her so much and every second I am not with her is harder and harder. I just want to be dumb with her, lay in bed and watch tv, go on hot dates, and do frustrating things together. I hope she doesn't forget about me, she is very busy lately... She needs to make time to steal me away from the city.

I'm watching Garden State for the second time tonight... such a great movie.

Kerry and I have been together for more than 6 months. I can't believe it. Good things rarely stay good for me, but in this case an amazing thing has stayed amazing... and it is only getting better.

Classes start in 3 days. I am kind of excited for it. I want to buy Bryan's (other roommates) bike to take to class and stuff, yeah.. that sounds good.

Ok.. bed time. night-o
<33333333333333333333333

5am?

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 09:43:13 GMT

I can't sleep. I have to move tomorrow. I have to leave the most beautiful girl in the world on this island, and I have to go to Richmond. I'm bummed.

I like to pretend I am ok with the band thing, but everytime i think about the shows and stuff I get really down and wish the worst for them. I keep telling myself I will start a band in Richmond, but I don't see it happening.

I have been with Kerry so much lately, and it has been the greatest thing in the entire world, and I know I am going to miss her terribly. I just hope she comes out to visit me and doesn't forget about me. We will have been going out for 6 months tomorrow... I don't think she realizes how much she means to me.

I watched Click tonight and it was sad like everyone said it was. I got misty.

So I saw a horse show, and was surrounded by horses for an entire day... and it was scary.

I really need to try and catch a few hours of sleep before the drive.

<3

drew can write lyrics

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 01:20:34 GMT

They cried "Amen"
An animal has lost its life
Dearly beloved
it used to be so fierce
jealousy ate away its soul
you cant believe
half the things you're told

A decent story
I expected so much more
"AMEN!"
For were the Carnivore
A decent story
limb from limb you were tore
"AMEN!"
for were the Carnivore

OH MY GOSH!
i saw this coming
the whole world
is watching now
you sure do talk
yea, you sure do talk
i see no wheelchair
so why dont you walk?

A decent story
I expected so much more
"AMEN!"
For were the Carnivore
A decent story
limb from limb you were tore
"AMEN!"
for were the Carnivore

what i've learned in 21 years

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 05:36:11 GMT

What is the use for a term like "friend"?

If everyone in the world is out for themselves...
how is this going to benefit me?
what can i do to make this best for me?
as long as I am benefiting, does it matter if others are hurt?

I got kicked out of something that i put my heart in like never before. I put so much time and money into this... and it's over for me. And that's not what has me down...

I feel like I've lost 4 of my best friends, 4 guys that I spent so much time with... friendships that were so awesome. Or so I thought, friendships that aren't enough to keep me from getting kicked out... not warn me others wanted me out...
still be friends? you guys broke my heart

We were doing things, getting tour offers, getting label contacts, making friends and fans.... and then.. i'm out.

i miss my friends

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 19:00:55 GMT

forget every post on here about omj

I just got kicked out of the band

see you in richmond

:)

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 04:31:25 GMT

my baby's home

<333333333

i dont know what i'd do without her

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 04:03:40 GMT

kerry is in the Atlantic hospital (just before Ocean City) for problems with her lung (stuff she has been through before)
she says she is going to be alright, but she may have to be there for a few days
I can't see her tonight, but I will see her tomorrow... I wish I could talk to her tonight atleast...

:(

if you know her number you should text her nice messages
or you can leave her myspace comments or something ( http://www.myspace.com/attackackack )

get better baby!!!!!!!!

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 06:36:34 GMT

4months is good times

zoo crew!

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 08:36:17 GMT

it is extremely likely that I have the greatest girlfriend ever

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 05:28:34 GMT

i'm 21 years old.

there's something wrong me... maybe

Wed, 17 May 2006 08:00:27 GMT

I hate money
I like kerry
I like friends
I hate never getting enough sleep.

I am starting to hate lj.

chapped lips + sunburn = flipside fest

Mon, 08 May 2006 05:49:08 GMT

Flipside Fest was a great time. Saw a lot of old faces, saw a lot of good bands, and got a lot of bad for me sun. Then it rained for the last 4 hours, and I am probably going to get sick.

Three finals in Two days this week. Two on Tuesday and One on Wednesday. So naturally I should be studying all day Monday, right? Wrong, I am going to Baltimore to see Thursday w/ Minus the Bear and MeWithoutYou... smart.

Chincoteague in approximately 72 hours?

I want to play a lot of basketball this summer.

"If you all came to see a punk rock show... say I love black people!"

miss you

Fri, 05 May 2006 01:41:49 GMT

so, how hard is it to be a good fucking friend?

The end is just the beginning of being lost then found, You find yourself wondering how it would be if you weren't around, Here I am, Here I stand, I've reached out my hand, But you had a different plan, I've should have known you were one of the wolves at my door, You drain the life from me, I'm so easily deceived, I just wasn't made to believe, I've given so much energy trying to place the blame around, This time it rests on me for letting my guard down. I should have known, All along, You were one, Of the wolves at my door, Now we're back again at this same old place, I'm just trying to recognize your face, I can't let you in now, That's how it all happens in the first place. I should have known all along, I let you string me along, I was just to stupid to realize, I let myself be compromised.

don't bother leaving comments, bitch on your own livejournal

Thu, 04 May 2006 05:08:08 GMT

I don't know if I was caught into this trap.
Or born into it.
The more I look into my life.
The more and more I see my destiny.

To work every single day
To never have my way.
To never see further than five feet in front of my face.
Until I'm layed to waste

Mother I'm scared of what's becoming of me.
Humiliation is all I can see.
I'll never be what I long to be.
It's hard coming face to face with my own destiny.

yeah i know i said my lj was going to be important stuff but whatev

Mon, 01 May 2006 05:08:10 GMT

i'm the kind of guy that when I am pissed/sad all I do is surround myself with things that will increase the feelings.

Does this make me a masochist?

paranoia
paranoia
paranoia

my brain is seriously messed up

i'm going to bed before I think anymore

i turn 21 is 28 days, I never thought I would live past 16.

showrfdgry

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 21:57:28 GMT

straight bs w/ bryan and steve is on now

click the logo

HOW CAN THESE MOTHER FUCKERS SLEEP!!!

Thu, 27 Apr 2006 12:36:39 GMT

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIAL!?!??!!

CNN.com Headline
"Every American taxpayer would get a $100 rebate check to offset the pain of higher pump prices for gasoline, under an amendment by Senate Republicans. But don't start spending it yet -- the GOP plan also includes a proposal to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil exploration, which most Democrats and some moderate Republicans oppose."
-http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/04/27/gas.rebate/index.html

yeah, Republican Nazis!

I was thinking last night

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 15:46:38 GMT

I want this lj to be more important than it is. I am sick of updating about my day to day bs that no one really cares about. Hell, I hardly care about the stuff I do all the time. So maybe I can start talking about things going on and give my opinions (which people care more about? haha) anyway... it's going to be me acting like I am better than everyone else and that I know everything... I am just going to talk about what I know, and if I am ever wrong, or if there is more I need to know, please let me know!

The other day in class (Media Ethics) we started talking about how far the first amendment goes as far as free speech. Wether or not, even though you are protected by the first amendment, you should be able to publish hate filled messages to present to the public and when (if ever) that message should be acted upon by the government.

Some people spoke up saying that if your message causes others to feel different about people, then it should be acted upon. When the first person is hurt, then the message should be taken down basically. Someone is still getting hurt in this scenario, so this is no good. Another student mentioned that messages with hate aren't that much of a factor because there is always a counter argument. Which got me thinking.. about our current government... For the sake of argument let's assume all republicans are christian (the majority is atleast)

77% of American's are christian, according to the most recent American Religious Identification Survey ...there are still 48 million American adults are non-Christian(http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0102-06.htm).

But the top 4 bodies of government (Senate, President, House or Reps, and Supreme Court) are all predominately republicans.

The founders of this country's government based it upon a systmen of checks and balances, a system designed to limit the power of a single individual (group) to avoid a "King". This is all out the window now. With a single party leading all the branches of gov't.. who is there to "check" what is considered "balanced"? Is this unconstitutional? Should be, but why would anyone want to challenge it?

Understand that I am a Christian, but I am not the christian you see on tv telling you to hate homosexuals and to kill all the "ragheads" and then drink a beer. No, I am the kind of christian that..well, follows christianity's core values.

These republicans, these un-checked, christian, right-wing, hate-filled republicans, are pushing their hate agendas. Their "anti-gay agendas"...Their "anti-terrorism" agendas...Their "why get off oil when I am getting rich off it agendas"! And who is checking this balance? No one.. Why? Can't! The majority of the people who run this country are all the same people. They are all the same politicians. Fat-cat republicans with this false sense of christianity and morals.

Who is going to stand up and present the counter arguments against the leaders' messages of hate? Thousands of people have already been hurt....

2 months

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 03:49:08 GMT

it's not like this world is all about you bryan
it's not like when you are down the rest of the world should be

but when the rain comes, it comes
it rained the whole drive "home" this afternoon
I guess it was fitting
but how many others got married today and thought to themselves...
"Well this isn't right on my wedding?"

and the lyrics in every song i listen to tonight
it's like Ryan [Adams], don't even agree with me
but the feelings are just right

and 200 miles away isn't far by any means
but it's the longest distance when
it is between me and everything

the plans I had made were broke for a reason
i was simply trying to spend the warmest of seasons

in a place where I actually feel that I belong
in a place where 200 miles is forgotten about while singing the dumbest songs

should it really hurt this good to know someone is hurting so good
in the same manner and fashion for the same reasons as you

and the lyrics in every song i listen to tonight...
it's like Ryan [Adams], don't even agree with me
but the feelings are just right

and 200 miles away isn't far by any means
but it's the longest distance when
it is between me and everything

-for kerry anne donovan

fall 2006 looks like this

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 21:55:12 GMT

Course Credit hrs Course title Days Time Building
ARTH-270-901 3.00 HISTORY OF MOTION PICTU R 0700-0940PM LFSCB-0151

INTL-105-901 3.00 INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS MW 0400-0515PM BUSNS-1106

MASC-203-005 3.00 WRITING FOR MASS MEDIA T 0100-0300PM TEMPL-1150
R 0100-0330PM TEMPL-1150

PHYS-103-901 3.00 ELEMENTARY ASTRONOMY T 0700-0940PM TEMPL-1164

RELS-342-901 4.00 BUDDHIST REASON & DEBAT TR 0400-0515PM TEMPL-4421
TBA

16 credits...busy.. kinda

next semester has a good chance of being sweet

real update later